Healing After Infidelity
You recited vows, built a happy life together. Or so you thought.
When you learn of secrets and lies in your marriage, it is devastating and confusing. And it’s hard to find someone to whom you can turn.
When you learn of your spouse’s infidelity, you quickly start reliving old memories with the newly acquired knowledge that your spouse was ‘with THEM’ during that birthday, vacation, anniversary, or health scare. And the accompanying sense of betrayal is profound. Most individuals who have been cheated on agree that it is the deception, not any sexual act, that is most painful to tolerate.
You may still be in a state of shock and unsure of what to do. People who know about the infidelity are urging you to divorce. But you and your spouse still love each other, which makes their infidelity all the more confusing.
I can help you to take a breath, figure out why this infidelity occurred, and determine constructive ways to have conversations about trust, love and the future.
Do any of these questions sound familiar?
Learning of infidelity puts couples into a heightened emotional place where there may be more questions than answers.
I can help.
• “Can I ever trust them again?”
•”When I close my eyes, I see them together in the most graphic ways. Will this ever stop?”
• “I feel like I don’t have all of the answers but they’re telling me to stop asking for more details. Don’t I have a right to know everything I want to know?”
•”Is it true that ‘once a cheater, always a cheater?’”
•”How does Affair Recovery even work?”
• “How can I deal with this when I can’t tell my friends and family?”
• “Will I ever be able to be intimate with them again without imagining what they did with the other person?”
Working together, I’ll help you:
● Figure out why the infidelity occurred at this time
● Process feelings of loss, grief and anger
● Move from guilt and shame to accountability
● Have conversations that feel constructive and calm, without slipping into overwhelming emotions
● Make decisions about how to move forward
● Learn how to take small steps toward rebuilding trust
How therapy can help after infidelity
Many couples are pleased to find that they are able to build a stronger, more honest relationship in the wake of infidelity than they had had before the affair.
Take a moment and breathe. There is no rush to make a decision. Give yourself space to understand what happened in your relationship.
