Increase your confidence with THIS mantra

Anxiety is the opposite of confidence. If confidence is like a placid lake at sunrise, anxiety is like a pinball machine with the pinballs racing back and forth as the machine lights up.

If you listen to the whirring pinballs, the thoughts sound like ‘I can’t do it,’ ‘I will embarrass myself,’ or ‘I’m trapped in this bad situation.’ The reason that anxious thoughts are hard to shake is because they feel rational and valid (even though they are generally baseless). And because anxious thoughts feel accurate and valid, they tend to increase in speed and ferocity (like pinballs racing through the machine).

In order to combat the anxiety, you need to increase your confidence. The easiest way to start this process is to make a list of 5 challenges that you’ve overcome.

Examples could be:

‘Graduating from college’

‘Going to the gym regularly even though I hate going’

‘Ending the toxic relationship’

‘Getting promoted at work’

‘Moving through a difficult loss’

Once you’ve assembled your list, I want you to give yourself credit for being a hard-working and tenacious person. You have overcome multiple challenges and been successful in many different domains. Recalling this list is the key to building confidence.

The mantra that will remind you of how tenacious and determined you are is ‘I have always been able to do this.’ Now everytime the pinball machine of anxiety starts lighting up and the pinballs start clanging around, remember that whatever challenge is spiking your anxiety is not your first rodeo. You’ve likely scaled steeper mountains in the past and you’ll ascend this peak as well.

Life is filled with challenges, but you’ve handled them in the past. Rather than exclusively focusing on the perceived stress of future challenges, you need to remind yourself of how far you’ve already come.